We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen.

How deal with and handle a stubborn wife

King Solomon – “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a contentious woman in a wide house”

Marriage is an institution that should be enjoyed and happy, virtually every day millions of people always dream of the happy day they will be the nuptial knot with their loved one. There is no one that dream of problem in marriage or either envisage problem in their marital life. At certain point, if you are in a relationship with a stubborn client you must learn how to deal and tolerate a stubborn spouse. Even though your wife may likely not to be really stubborn in nature but some are naturally stubborn and arrogant.

Difficult wifeWhen we say someone is stubborn it means someone is unreasonable and often refuses to change their mind about a particular issue, ideas, or an action. When mostly asked why stubborn they can’t give a particular or genuine reason for their stubbornness or resistance. There are some reasons that might be responsible for your wife stubbornness.

Defending and idea/action: There are some people that have the belief that if their idea, suggestion, interest or point is neglected then they are unimportant to you. They easily personalized their idea to themselves. They always think their real identity is threatened if people or their husband is not convinced with what she is saying.

Given the fact that every human is unique, every human has many different characteristics that is conflicting with that of another individual. A partner that is not willing or ready to give in or submit to his/her idea or action and always want to have her way means problem in her marriage. I will be discussing some useful tips and ideas on how you can handle that stubborn wife and rejuvenate happiness, joy. Loving someone means you have to accept them and understand them. I know that getting around them is not going to be easy, but once you get used to this ideas and tips that will be discussed soon you will find yourself being able to deal effectively with your stubborn wife.

Understand why you wife is stubborn

The reason for your wife stubbornness might be because you are not seeing the logic behind her decisions. Try to reason and see things from their own perspectives, there are times while our judgment is clouded by self interest, anger or frustration. When you are learning about how to go about to handle or deal with your wife you have to remember that when you are in a relationship it means that you have made up your mind to work differences and also make sacrifices for her. There are definitely going to be some differences knowing that we humans are not the same and we come from different background, which is the first step in resolving issues.

Pick your battle

If your wife seems that she won’t just back down, don’t waste time trying to argue, nag, yell, or complain otherwise it makes the situation worsen. If a decision means too much to your partner let them know you support them this time and try to make them understand that when it comes to your position it means more to you too and you will ask for support in return. You have to choose your priorities and be ready to lose the rest.

Spend quality time together

What is the major reason why you are married? Is it just to have kids? The marriage is meant to be companionship which many people long to have but sometimes they never get. Your spouse should be your best friend and confidant.

Understand one another

You must try to listen to your spouse and try to understand her. There are times it can be the reverse of what they are saying but you have to listen and observe her body language and eye contacts.

Take positive approach

The key is for you to know how to deal with a stubborn wife is to avoid hostility or violence of any kind or confrontation. Fighting and exchanging of words or blows is never an answer or solution. The most important thing is to keep it cool and level head, because this while give you a good leverage so that you will be able to talk and negotiate the issue calmly, properly and reasonably. There is nothing a soft and good talk or response can’t resolve. Often times ego and pride gets in their way, so when you provide proof to your points so agreement can be perceived in the light of the evidence and not that they have a change of mind. Dealing with a stubborn wife can be especially more challenging when they tends to be more narrow-minded. However, when patient and keeping in mind that learning on tips and ways to handle your effectively will guarantee you happy and successful marital relationship. I believe with all these mentioned tips you will effectively make use of them and give your relationship happy boost.


Read more on how to handle a stubborn and difficult partner and the account of John Wesley.

Recommended Reading

How to Deal With A Difficult Woman: A Survival Guide For Dealing With the Wackiest, Wishy-Washy and Worrisome Women In Your Life

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage

A Wife’s Guide to In-laws: How to Gain Your Husband’s Loyalty Without Killing His Parents


  1. Hi…my wife seems to know all and she doesn’t know how to say sorry any time there is an arguement between us. I also noticed that she seems not too comfortable with my mom. I love my wife a lot and I also love my mom a lot too for her motherly sacrifice while I was growing up. I really want my wife to know she cannot be always right,learn from people and learn how to be apologetic…kindly advvise as this attitude is already affecting my marriage.

    • jonathan, my wife is the same way. never admitting wrongs and NEVER EVER apologizes unless it is ‘forced’.

      • My wife is exactly like your wife. Shes does not apologises even if she is in the wrong and does not appreciate what my parents have done for her. She has very low tolerance for my parents. Have you found a solution to her attitude?

      • i feel u guys… my wife is the same…

    • Mine is the same way and never panic about her mistakes that can put our marriage in jeorpady, and she never appologize unless instructed. She knws everything and wants to be a wife and a husband at the same time

    • Hi Jonathan,

      Did you find a solution to your problem ? I am exactly in the same situation as you worst I assumed she just had problem with now I find she has problem with mom with my sister and also with my friends, It’s getting uglier day by day.


  2. My wife always is defending her family members when she thinks that I am being mean toward them. I admit that I do have differences with a few of her family members, and I have made this clear to her on several occasions, and the reasons why. My wife also accuses me of being mean toward her and uncaring, which is not true at all. She states that I have on several occasions made remarks toward herself or her family that are derogatory and that this really upsets her to no end. I have tried several times to sit her down and work things out in a calm and positive manner, but after a few minutes time she becomes upset with me and tells me that I don’t understand how hurtful I am with my words and actions. Usually the words and actions she accuses me of saying or doing are things that have happened over the last 5 to 10 years time, and even though I have told her that I was sorry for whatever she may think that I have done she will still bring these same things up again and again. At this point I am very unsure of the relationship we have, not only because of her constant accusations, but because she also has become very frigid and will not give me any kind of love or affection at all. If things don’t take a turn for the better then I am afraid that the only option for me is to divorce her and find someone who will love and appreciate me for who I am.

  3. @Rodger- In fact my wife is your wife personified. She has added paranoia to her issues with me recently. She will copy out all calls i have once she can have access to my phone and keep calling to confirm whether they are male or female. Once it is a female voice, she promptly concludes that she’s not only my girlfriend, but i have slept with her and then wait ill the middle of the night, wakes me up and start a confrontation. She accuses me of infidelity even when she couldn’t prove i did anything wrong (Which honestly, am fighting hard not to do) It is so, so painful to be accused of what you never did. Just because i replied a text message to a female friend(Who was helping me with my job hunting) and used the word ‘dear’, she said i was an infidel and used many unprintable things. She is an extremely stubborn goat woman. I am tired of her(though i still love her) and just holding myself for not bursting loose with anger, because i am almost on the verge of securing a lucrative job which i believe will change the equation. It is really frustrating. I need some tips here please.

    • Hello Rodger ,
      Once of my friend had similar kind of problem ,his wife was too suspicious about him. Keep monitoring facebook,twitter ,viber and whatsapp messages if she finds a female name she use to enquire about her from the beginning. He is been married for 5 years and love her a lot. Only suggestion I could give him was if your msging / talking to a girl about any thing just tell your wife “your doing that coz of this reason” Even if there is no reason to call any one test her telling her your calling xyz for this case and see how she goes .I personally dont like it giving an explanation to any one when I am doing nothing wrong ,however its better before then worst later. Is she doing a full time job? if not tell her to help you financially taking up a job. which keeps her mind busy at work . Note : Women loves – food,flowers and lot of shopping (have enough energy drink before you go) .

  4. Hi, I moved to Montreal few years ago. In Montreal, I have my uncle, his wife, and their son and I do consider them as friends as much as relatives. we hang out together, we speak on the phone always, they helped me a lot settling down here. Last year, I got married. Since then eveything changed. My wife came up with a whole story believing that i have an affair with my uncle’s wife… at first, i thought she was joking or she was just being jealous. but then I realized she have been really serious about it. every time i call them or they call me, she gets an anxiety attack and we end up in the hospital. so I stopped telling her about the calls. today she realized that I called my uncle’s wife yesterday (i did call her to apologize about the fact that I RARELY ask about them, since they seem very sensitive about it) and now she’s insisting that we should divorce. Hey, one detail, we both have no one here apart from my relatives.

  5. suresh perumalu says:

    Just had a argument with my wife. Her family us visiting us. So ive budgeted together with her to accommodate them during their stay here. We were good on the budget and agreed. Now she has overspend and when I asked why, she refused to accept blame. She became” historical”. Yes historical. She mentioned about so many other things that I could not remember and started linking with the argument we had today. How do women remember all the tiniy detail that guys think its of little consequences. Anyways I’m really annoyed and frustrated with her. She’s not accepting her fault. I’m the sole bread winner for my family. We hv a daughter. Ever since we had kid, she has almost completely eliminated me as a person to take care of. Im no angel myself. But I always take time to reflect if what I had done or talked was right or wrong. If I was wrong I had no prob saying sorry but she is juat the opposite. She refuses to say sorry at all. What am I to do. I just want her to realise that she makes mistakes too. But too stubborn to admit it.

  6. i have the same complain as Rodger,

  7. The problem with my wife is that she is too stubborn,she rarely takes any advice or instruction i give to her,presently i have decided to end this marriage so that im dont die of heart attack,though i still love her very much,but my health and live is at stake here.the funny part of it is that she can call i say am sorry this minute,the next minute is fire and brim stone.i just cant continue like this,imtry as much as i can to provide for her and my beautiful daughter,but then she always say that materials things are not love,that am not romantic.i really need your advice bfore i go crazy.

  8. My wife behaves exactly like Rodger’s. We have been married only for 6 months and before that we didn’t really knew each other much. We married right away because we wanted to have kids. Now she’s pregnant and she will give me a son soon. I want to divorce her but I feel like I can’t do it because of the baby on the way. If she wasn’t pregnant I would’ve divorced her right away. I’m going crazy with her behavior. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

  9. I have exactly same type of wife. Every conversation will start with some trivial issue like the drinking water, end up to her cursing my mother and my family, and of course me also. Everytime i got an appointment to hang out few hours with some male friends, she wilk like having the grduge for months and in fact maybe years, it is still an ongoing grudge. I am really tired of this, thinking of a divorce but a bit unfair to the kid. Please some advice.

  10. its almost a year gone,i was staying with my wife at my mothers apartment she miscarried she always talks bad about my mom she hate her much,if i talk good about my mom to her she always wants to argue and fight ,pliz help

  11. I’ve been in a relationship for 32 years now, and it just seems to get worse as the years goes on.
    Our first 10 years of marriage went pretty smoothly, because she was easy to please, and went along with most of my ideas and decisions …because she trusted my judgement and intuition.
    But as time went on, she became very stubborn and a “know it all”, to the point now that we can rarely have a rational conversation anymore about anything. So on a daily basis we tend to live our own lives…under the same roof. We seem to get along better when we don’t talk.
    The only real thing we have in common anymore is our adult children who are both engaged or married.
    You know what they Say: A Women Marries A Man, Thinking She Can Change Him, But Never Can!
    And: A Man Marries A Woman, Thinking She Will Never Change, But She Does!

  12. I am in fact delighted to read this web site posts which consists of plenty of useful
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  13. am 27 yrs of age and i fell in love with a 1976 yrs old lady in 2011 we had a child so now she wants to contol me sometimes she doesnt want tomake love with me y? this yr we made love 2 since it started so now am planning to leave her but i stil love her pls help me!

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